Audrey Rose Lehman died November 5, 2007. She was a friend and a grandmother to me in every way that matters. I have taken care of her for years and when she was diagnosed with lung cancer and needed 24 hour care, David and I took it on. They say you love whom you serve and I love her. I am completely unprepared for the grieving I am doing. I know the answers...she is in a better place...she doesn't hurt anymore...She is with her loved ones...but it doesn't seem to help the sadness I feel. Maybe it had to do with the way she lived. She wore a bracelet that said "LIVE STRONG" on it. And she did. She had humor, wit, and intelligence, and I could talk to her about anything and we did. She would raise those eyebrows and launch into what ever she had to say. I loved it. I miss it. She has been a source of safety, strength, love and acceptance, for me. The loneliness is so hard but life goes on. She lives and so do we. David and I have been sorting through her memories and they bring smiles and tears and sometimes gales of laughter. I am grateful to have known her and been an intimate part of her life. Though the sadness abides, yet joy cometh in the morning.
1 week ago