Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Live Strong

Audrey Rose Lehman died November 5, 2007. She was a friend and a grandmother to me in every way that matters. I have taken care of her for years and when she was diagnosed with lung cancer and needed 24 hour care, David and I took it on. They say you love whom you serve and I love her. I am completely unprepared for the grieving I am doing. I know the answers...she is in a better place...she doesn't hurt anymore...She is with her loved ones...but it doesn't seem to help the sadness I feel. Maybe it had to do with the way she lived. She wore a bracelet that said "LIVE STRONG" on it. And she did. She had humor, wit, and intelligence, and I could talk to her about anything and we did. She would raise those eyebrows and launch into what ever she had to say. I loved it. I miss it. She has been a source of safety, strength, love and acceptance, for me. The loneliness is so hard but life goes on. She lives and so do we. David and I have been sorting through her memories and they bring smiles and tears and sometimes gales of laughter. I am grateful to have known her and been an intimate part of her life. Though the sadness abides, yet joy cometh in the morning.

5 comments:

Alicia said...

Jenny,

My heart and prayers are with you. As I read this I see you in your words about her. She is definitely a part of you and she is with you. I know it is so hard to loose such a person and the grief you feel. Remember to wrap those memories and the love around you like a comforting blanket and each day will be better. I love you and feel for you.

XXXOOO,
Alicia

Hopkins said...

I am grateful for YOU Aunt Jenny! I'm glad my grandma had you up there to help her and be her friend. She really loved you and Uncle Ron! Thank you for taking time out of your life to be a part of hers. Thank you both for everything you did for her!
I love you!

Jan said...

I think that's the hardest part of losing someone, really. We do know we will see them again, we know that they are happy and not hurting anymore (and of course we want that for them!) -- but the time between them leaving us here and us being with them again is the painful part. I'm so thankful for the knowledge we have -- but there will always be a place in my heart for those people I am missing.

Alex~Hillary~Allyson~Olivia~Alayna~Phoebe said...

Mama, I love you.

Seth, Sarah and the kids said...

She is an amazing woman, who was loved by so many!! I am so glad you were such a big part of her life! I know she loved you, too! She will be greatly missed!! But for now, I hope her and Great Grama are having a great time! Love you Mom!!